We’re living in unusual times and we may find ourselves feeling more vulnerable. I definitely feel that way since the Nottingham infection rates soared and restrictions increased.
When we’re feeling vulnerable, we are susceptible to feeling more keenly those things that concern or bother us, unable to shake off the feeling. Or more succinctly, to having our “buttons pressed”, and dealing with those frustrations feels so much harder.
Recently, I attended a couple of networking events, where confident-incompetence seemed to be winning the day. Rather than shrugging it off and moving to more meaningful connections, I found myself feeling annoyed and dwelling on it.
My buttons were well and truly pressed. I can protest as much as a like, but the situation is still there, and I can’t change what happened. What do I do now?
As a UKCP-accredited psychotherapist, I’m ethically obliged to understand and deal with any feelings I might have in response to what’s happening in my life. Otherwise they negatively impact my performance as a therapist. That’s why we are required to have life-long regular supervision, and to have at least 4 years of personal therapy before we qualify.
An approach that happens to have 6 items in it
I carried out a few activities, and I thought you might be interested to hear about them.
It’s a way to re-direct the energy created from “buttons-pushed” into helpful, fruitful activity, and I certainly feel better for it.
Therefore, in response I:
- Recognised what’s happening (feeling vulnerable / button pushed!)
- Talked to friends (OK. Perhaps we might use the word “whinged”!) and my supervisor-therapist
- Researched the topic in hand: confident incompetence (see below)
- Wrote about it (I chose to type it on my laptop although it can be in any format; you might even wish to draw or paint)
- Acknowledged lessons learned / remembered from the experience
- Explored strategies / tactics: in this case to ethically promote my business, and educate others on the topic
What have I learned / remembered from this?
- I’m in a vulnerable place, time for some self-nurture and seek out my cheerleaders
- The success of the confident-incompetent isn’t going anywhere fast
- I’m reminded that competence, humility and integrity really are the best way to go; keep at it and allow them to be “front and centre” in my business